Working the Steps: A ‘how to’ guide
“And Christ truly said unto our fathers: If ye have faith ye can do all things which are expedient unto me.” (Moroni 10:23) We understand that overcoming an addiction is hard. We also know that the Lord loves all of us. We are not alone. He will help us overcome this challenge. As we make working the steps a priority we will be blessed with strength beyond our own, “therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.” (Alma 34:31)
Sometimes the biggest roadblock to working the Steps is not really understanding how to work them. Below is a simple set of guidelines that will help in doing so. And when we mean simple, we truly mean simple. In short, we simply read the question, reflect on it intellectually, spiritually and emotionally and journal what comes up for us. First and foremost, we are honest, for anything less will only slow our progression and inhibit our ability to heal. Additionally, we are encouraged to share our discoveries with our sponsor or other trusted recovery persons, for doing so helps answer questions that may arise as well as solidifies the truths we are learning.
Guidelines
As important as working each Step is, it is equally important that we pace ourselves; working deliberately rather than fast. In preparing ourselves for recovery, we remember that the quality of our work is more important than our speed.
- This is not a race. We do not need to answer all the questions in one sitting. And if we come across a question that we simply do not know the answer to, or do not connect with, we pause and reflect and give it the time it deserves. We can even decide to come back later or ask for clarification from our sponsor.
- This is a journey of discovery. In time, our recovery work will give us the “progressive victory over lust” that we seek.
- The Spirit will guide our learning for what we need in each individual moment. And when we revisit these questions in the future, our answers will be deeper as a result of the progress we have made. It is then that we will be given a glimpse of the growth that working the program of recovery has given us.
- We don’t have to have all the answers right now. Recovery is a process where the grace of our Savior can impress upon our soul the truths that strengthen our recovery a little at a time, one day at a time.
Preparation
In an effort to nurture a prime atmosphere in which we can learn and grow, many have found help in some of the following suggestions for their Step work.
- Choose a time and location in which we feel safe, free from distraction and can be relatively un-interrupted.
- To make the work of Working the Steps as manageable as possible, we recommend pacing ourselves by simply working one subsection at a time. For instance, each Step section (i.e. Step 1 Section 1 – Our powerless and unmanageable life) has subsections consisting of 3-5 paragraphs. We recommend working one sub-section per day (give or take); which consists of reading, reflecting and journaling what we feel and learn.
- We prayerfully ask Heavenly Father for the guidance of the Spirit while opening our own hearts to hear what He has to teach us. It may also be helpful to just sit quietly in silent reflection as some of the most tender moments with the Lord happen when we simply sit with Him.
- It can also help to have peaceful hymns or other recovery related music playing in the background.
- When answering the questions found in this workbook, we write down whatever comes to our mind even if it leads you to something completely different. These questions are not meant to have a correct answer but to soften our hearts so the Spirit can teach us.
Reflection questions
Under each Step section can be found a set of reflection questions. These questions are simply meant to get us thinking about recovery; critically, reflectively and emotionally. Below are some addiction questions that can be asked about each subsection:
- What have I learned from this section?
- How does the material relate to me personally?
- What feelings and emotions did I experience?
- In what ways can I implement the principles taught into my everyday life?
- How would I rate my current level of willingness to (fill in the blank)?
- What principles have I learned that I can turn into actions or changes that will increase the success of my recovery?
Truths and affirmations
One of the hardest aspects of recovery is learning to tell the difference between what we’ve believed about ourselves, God and our worth for so long, and what is actual truth regarding such matters. In order to bring ourselves into the light of truth, we practice identifying, acknowledging and believing the truths found in this workbook. We can then turn those truths into working positive affirmations in an effort to retrain our thinking, speaking and belief systems into positive patterns rooted in truth.
- An affirmation is a beginning point on the path to change. It is consciously choosing words that facilitate a progressive change in our life.
- Replacing unhealthy messages with healthy messages moves us from the addicted state we are in now, to the freedom that awaits us in our future.
- Writing our affirmations on sticky notes and placing them in a visible place (bathroom mirror, refrigerator, computer monitor, etc…), setting them as the background on our phone, or even recording them as personal voice notes is a great way to enhance the effectiveness of our affirmations. The key is to strive to visit them everyday.
Examples of affirmations will be provided at the end of each Working the Step section. We can use those provided or write our own.
Inventories
Most of the step sections will also have one or more inventories associated with it. These inventories are key to the success of our recovery as they require that we journal the many different aspects of our addiction and recovery. They help us see our addiction for what it is and the damage it has caused. The truth will most likely be uncomfortable at first, but it will help bring the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ, into our lives. Indeed, there is no better source of hope and healing for those afflicted.
Feedback
Working the steps is a work in progress. The links below are to Google Docs that we would love to have feedback on. If you have any comments, concerns or questions please feel free to contact us
Some of things we are looking for in feedback:
- Typos
- Confusing or difficult to understand text
- Additional questions to ask in the inventories
- Additional resources that may help to supplement the material
WTS Documents
| Sponsee Guide | Guide to make the most out of being a sponsee | 2023/02/21 |
| Sponsor Guide | Guide to make the most out of being a sponsor | 2023/02/21 |
| Step 1 | – Our Powerlessness and Unmanageable Life – The underlying truth about sexual addiction – The medical research into sexual addiction – Exposing the cunning tactics of the adversary – The many faces of denial – Finding freedom through transparency | 2023/02/21 |
| Step 2 | – The sustaining power of hope – The patient and loving nature of God – Embracing the grace of God – The transforming power of gratitude | 2023/02/21 |
| Step 3 | – Surrendering our addiction to God – Aligning our will with God’s will – The path to sobriety – The challenges and rewards of withdrawal – Triggers and Danger Zones – The cycles and rituals of addiction – Disabling the dominating pull of fantasy – Guarding against the snares of slips and relapses – A Summary of Steps One, Two and Three | 2023/02/21 |
| Step 4 | – Acknowledging the truth about ourselves – Discovering the roots of our addictive behavior – Learning to identify, feel and process each emotion – Uncovering patterns of codependency – Improving our codependent relationships – Breaking free from shame – Accessing the power to conquer our fears – Moving from negative self-talk to positive affirmations – Identifying anger and resentments – Recognizing trauma from our past | 2023/10/12 |
| Step 5 | – The Truth shall set us free – The purifying power of repentance – Allowing repentance to strengthen our recovery | 2023/01/01 |
| Step 6 | – Become willing to _let go, and let God | 2024/06/02 |
| Step 7 | – Surrendering our weaknesses unto Him | 2024/06/02 |
| Step 8 | – Preparing to make amends – The healing balm of forgiveness – Liberating ourselves from past trauma | 2024/06/10 |
| Step 9 | – The humble and coureagous act of making amends – Rebuilding trust within the marital relationship – Nurturing marital conection through emotional intimacy | 2024/06/26 |
| Step 10 | – The protective shield of daily accountability | 2024/06/27 |
| Step 11 | – Strengthening our relationship with God | 2024/06/27 |
| Step 12 | – Paying it forward – The Lower Lights | 2024/06/27 |
| Recovery Slogans | Commonly used slogans used in different 12 step groups | 2023/02/21 |